Are you struggling with discouragement? Are the weight of your circumstances making it hard to move forward? Most of us battle discouragement. And in some seasons, it is a daily battle.

David writes about this in Psalm 42 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? ‭Psalms‬ ‭42:5‬a ‭NIV‬‬

This struggle that David is writing about..is REAL. It’s so easy to get discouraged and wrestle with this inner turmoil. It’s normal to be asking WHY..to be fixed on the why. And it can be so exhausting.

The verb discourage has roots in the French word descouragier, which comes from des-, meaning “away,” and corage, or “courage.” So when you discourage someone, you can think of it as taking his courage — or enthusiasm — away.
From vocabulary.com

What takes away our courage? What sucks the enthusiasm out of life? It could be; unfulfilled expectations, loss of a relationship, money problems, relapse, toxic habits, or marriage struggles. Depending on our circumstances, the smallest thing can get us discouraged.

So, how do we flip the switch? How do we deal with our downcast souls?

We start with courage.

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad.”

Brene Brown

I believe David has something similar in mind with one caveat; Courage is speaking honestly about our situation, about who we are AND about who God is. This verse doesn’t show that God is directly speaking to David’s soul rather, David is speaking to his soul about who God is.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? ‭ Now, the rest of the verse , Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭42:5‬ ‭ESV

We battle discouragement by choosing to hope. One way to view hope is, to take courage in something that isn’t always tangible. It’s to grab a hold of truth when we don’t feel it or haven’t yet seen it. It’s to hope in something bigger and more powerful than ourselves or circumstances. It’s to lean into the discomfort of our insecurities and insufficiency.

Courage isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice. A choice to move forward when your feelings are screaming for you to go the opposite direction. David said, “for I will! Don’t wait for your feelings to change, speak truth to your soul like David did. Speak truth to your soul that you and I have a God that we can hope in.

A pastor. A mayor. A principal. A community activist. All praying and believing God for unity and healing in our city and our nation.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity -Psalm 133:1

This first picture was taken last fall during our series FOR THIS CITY. We talked for a month about the questions “Who is our neighbor?”, “How can we love our city?” and “How can we love people who don’t look like, act like or believe like us?”. We had candid discussion with police officers, teachers, mental health workers and other community leaders. It felt like a win for our church. And for our city. And I think it was. But our nation and our city have a long way to go.

On Mother’s Day this year Becky and I “hijacked” the Mother’s Day message to talk about the Ahmaud Arbery shooting. We again talked about how to love our neighbor. We talked about racial tension. We talked about injustice. If you’d like to watch it you can check that out here.

The second picture is of George Floyd and the text is of one of the last things he said before he died. I have seriously struggled with finding the “right” words to communicate my thoughts and feelings. I take the influence that we have been given extremely seriously. But I am hurting this week. Grieving. Frustrated and angry. I am grieved at the injustice. I am grieved at the comments I read at people trying to “justify” what happened. I am grieved to see Minneapolis in flames. This isn’t just a political issue or a media issue. This is a Kingdom of God issue.

We need to pray. But our prayers must lead to action. I am convinced we have to keep having the hard conversations. Keep examining our own hearts. Keep repenting of callousness and indifference. We must keep listening to others. And keep wrestling with these issues. We need to keep confronting our fear with love.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. -1st John 4:18 NIV

I believe the love of God is the answer. The sacrificial, illogical love of God. His love isn’t logical. It is radical. It is revolutionary. It is absolutely the answer.

 When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” -Luke 23:33-34 ESV

Jesus didn’t just pray. He prayed while he was sacrificing himself for humanity. He prayed while we was acting. His love led to sacrifice. What are we sacrificing to help others? Are we willing to sacrifice our egos? Our opinions? Our reputations?

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NIV

There is a tension in this topic but God isn’t afraid of the tension. I think He is going to use this tension. To make our nation better. To make us stronger. But for now we need to grieve. We need to grieve for George Floyd. We need to grieve for Cody Holte, the Grand Forks police officer who was killed this week in the line of duty. We need to grieve for the destruction and violence in Minneapolis. And we need to listen and learn. And we need to love like Jesus. The world is full of opinions. I don’t see those opinions changing the world. The world needs to see sacrificial love that expels fear.

We love you George Floyd. We love you police officers putting yourselves at risk to protect and serve. We love you protesters feeling hurt and angry. We love you business owners whose property has been destroyed. We can do better. We must do better. We will do better.

FORTY- That’s how old I turned today. The word reminds me of malt liquor. (A forty is a refence to a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor.) I have a distinct memory of the first time I drank Malt liquor. 26ish years ago (I can’t quite remember in my old age), one of my friends and I decided we needed to get someone we knew to buy beer. Like the wise young boys we were, we had to go big. Instead of a small six-pack or even a 40 ounce, we bought a 64ounce bottle of Old English Malt liquor and both finished them.  A mix of satisfaction and fear was in room. We danced and congratulated each other and probably listened to Cypress Hill’s Insane in the Membrane or Back to the Hotel by N2Deep. We were kings. We had the world in our laps. That was until we proceeded to puke up all 64 ounces of that Malt Liquor. The jubilation was over and I was done.

But not done living that life. Not for a few more years. I had pain to numb. Many of you know my story and this post isn’t about my whole journey. I’d rather reflect on the last decade. And it’s my party so I can write what I want to. I’m going to share a few of the greatest lessons I’ve learned and memorable experiences over the last decade.

Here are some of the lessons I learned and things to remember from the last decade.

I learned that I don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving. With that, I’ve learned it’s easier for me to give love than receive it. I’m working on that. A book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller opened my eyes to love.

Leaving the longest job that I had ever had (8 1/2 years) and loved to plant a church with no promise of security took the rawest faith I have ever had. It was incredibly challenging and so rewarding. You can read about that adventure HERE if you’d like.

I started seeing a counselor every week and have for the last 6 years. Now it’s monthly or every other week. This has been one of the greatest decisions I have ever made.

Becky is my best friend. And a dynamic leader. The greatest and most influential days of our ministry are ahead but they started all in the same place. We were willing. We weren’t and aren’t perfect. But we are willing. God is far from done using our lives and we have committed that He can do whatever He desires through us. However, we will not pretend to be perfect in that process.

I’ve learned I don’t need the approval or understanding of others to be successful. Even though I’ve desperately wanted it.

When I went to the Baltic, I learned that in some countries there can be 96-97 percent of the population that is unchurched.  That forever changed me.

Co-leading our church with my wife has been the best and one of the hardest things for our marriage. We had to work through some resentments. We have had to learn what we are good at and what we are not. We are still learning how to do this well.

I’ve officiated several weddings and several funerals in my 30’s. Funerals are by far my favorite thing to officiate. Probably because I have forgotten important details every wedding. Like- “you may now kiss the bride.” At funerals, people are open to God and thinking about there own spirituality. It’s such a privilege to help people morn and think about eternity.

My kids have more inner security in their young lives than I did in my 20’s and 30’s. They will be amazing at whatever God puts in their hands.

Having a tumor removed in my knee was scary and reminded me of my need to pay attention to my health. I hope that my 50’s blog post will have a better report.

My biological dad died in 2016. I’m still grieving and learning how to grieve but I know he’d be proud of the life I am living.

Being a lead Pastor isn’t what I thought it would be like. It’s both better and worse.  It’s a role that requires a willingness to be in pain. “Reluctance to face pain is your greatest limitation.” Sam Chand. For me, it requires constant refinement and learning. But watching God transform people and families and creating a church home that anyone can come to has been mind-blowing.  Pastoring multiple generations has been such an honor.

Having an incredible staff that is behind us is the most empowering thing I have ever experienced as a leader.

Being a father is the easiest role for me for some reason. It’s the most natural. My children will be my greatest legacy.

The list is far from complete. And I am still learning every day.

I’m starting my 40’s with a sense of peace and confidence that I didn’t have to start my 30’s. I feel like I’ve settled in my purpose and calling. It’s like the seat of my suburban that I have been driving over a decade. That seat just feels right. That seat formed to the nuances in the body. I’m used to driving in it. I’ve been a dad and in full-time ministry for 15 years and serving in some kind of ministry for 20 years. Here’s one for you..I’ve been around for 31 years of Madden NFL Football. 31 different versions and I’m still terrible at it. Dang.

God has been speaking to me recently about a life verse.  It took 40 years but I think I finally have one. That picture above sums it up. My words matter. That picture was taken with me and Kinzey this summer in front of the Grand Tetons.  Here is the verse the Lord spoke to me as my life verse. He told me to put my name where Samuel’s name was listed. “The LORD was with Travis as he grew up, and he let none of Travis’s words fall to the ground.”  1st Samuel 3:19 NIV (the name Samuel was replaced with Travis.)

I can confidently believe that about myself because of all that God has done. His love is real. His power is real. His healing is complete. He doesn’t lie. He can be relied on. He can be experienced. He is the best Father. That kid I wrote about above experienced His love. God loved me in my mess. He doesn’t love me anymore now than He did then. It just took me 40 years to realize it.

 

On a missions trip to the Baltic several years ago, I was able to visit a place called Kryžių kalnas, or the Hill of Crosses in Northern Lithuania. It was a fascinating place with over 100,000 crosses placed all over this hill. You can read more about it here. I was visiting the Baltic’s with a group of Pastors from America. We were traveling with the leaders of Eurasia Northwest. We were there with one mission. How can we help fund/support a church planting movement in the Baltic to establish the church where it’s not?  How can we support the current missionaries and church planters to reach these “unreached” countries? The Baltic remains one of the most unchurched places in the world with each country ranging from 97-99% of its population unchurched.  As I walked around the Hill of Crosses I observed the crosses placed there. The I remember thinking to myself,  how can this country have this iconic place where there are over 100,000 crosses and not know the impact of what happened on that cross?

It is Good Friday today. But what does that actually mean to me? As a follower of Jesus, sometimes liturgical events throw me off. I’m never a fan of, “this is what we do today because that is what we have always done.”  I think ritual and religious observances can take away the meaning of days like today if we don’t stop and reflect why we have them in the first place.   Today I am asking the question to myself, why does Good Friday matter to me? How does that impact my day? In an attempt to work it out for myself, I thought I’d let you in on my journey. Here is what I will think on and do today. Maybe it will help you.

Good Friday is a day to reflect and remember. It is a day that we are to remember and reflect that Jesus died for us in our place. He suffered an insane amount and even died so I could be made whole. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; he punishment that brought us peace was on him,and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 NIV  Today I will honor Jesus by resting in the peace that He suffered for me to have. 

Today I will remember that I don’t have to work hard to be right with God. “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV  I now have access to righteousness! What does that even mean? It means when God looks at me and sees me, He sees me just as perfect as Jesus was. That only happens because Jesus took our place on that cross.

Now for some practical advice. Here are some things I will do today. I will read the account of Jesus’ death and resurrection in the Bible. I will hug my kids tighter and color some eggs with them. I will hug my kids a little tighter because without that cross I would not be the father I was destined to be.  I will text my pastor friends that I’m praying for them to preach the good news of Jesus this Sunday!  Sometime today our family will take communion and talk about what Jesus’ death means to us.  I want to describe that moment…it will be chill.  No need for me to try to convey the heaviness of the cross. I believe the Holy Spirit can give my kids a revelation of God in a way I never could. I just want to create an opportunity for Him to do so. We will just talk about how Jesus gave his life for us and how He loves us.

I’m super thankful for Jesus today. For what He did for me.  And for what He did for you. I’m praying for you today. That you too will experience the peace that He paid for! That you will hug your friends and family, or send them a text.  You and I are whole because of Him. We can receive and give love because of Him. That is good Friday.

 

 

 

 

 

On February 2, 1998 I started a journey that would forever change my life. That was the day I went to Teen Challenge. Charged with a felony as adult, I had the option to either go to prison or Teen Challenge. Reluctantly, I chose Teen Challenge. Looking back I realize the hand of God in that situation. I was a broken young man. Actually, I was hardly a man. I lived only for myself. For the next high, the next rush, the next relationship. I lived for whatever would make me feel better. That lifestyle was costly. After 2 serious (almost life ending) drug overdoses, several costly treatment facilities, many broken relationships, God stopped me long enough that He could get my attention. I don’t know that I would have come to Him another way.

 

To say that everything changed that day twenty years ago wouldn’t be totally accurate. God gave me the opportunity for everything to change but there was a cost. It was an incredible opportunity! But it took years of renewing my mind, relationships that had to end, relationships that had to mend, acceptance of my actions, belief in myself and I needed God. Not the Sunday only God that I learned about as a kid. That God always seemed distant and angry with me. But the God that loved the sinner enough to do something about it. I needed the God that loved me in my mess. This love changed my life. God surrounded me with people that were full of this love. They dedicated their life to help me become the man God wanted me to be. This was motivation! I didn’t want to waste this opportunity. So I embraced what God put before me and He did more than I could have ever imagined.

 

In my first meeting with my counselor at Teen Challenge, I remember him asking, “What do you want in life Travis?”  There was no hesitation, “I want a family. I want to be a father and a husband.”  That answer still surprises me. An 18 year old drug addict that hadn’t been sober for a month says he wants to be a father? That counselor could have said many answers. He could have said, “You need to work hard and that can happen.” or “That is the last thing you should be thinking of.” But what he said were words that still burn in my heart. At the time, I didn’t know what prophecy was but those words were prophetic. He wept while he said, “That is a desire from God. He put that in your heart. If you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. (reference of  Ps. 37:4)”  I broke. The hope that one day I could be a father and husband was a light to my soul. Somebody believed that for me! After all I had done. I knew I had encountered the grace of God.

Fast forward to 20 years later. I have 4 beautiful children and have been married 16 years to an amazing lady. They are my greatest legacy. Of all the things that the last 20 years have brought, I look back and realize they were motivation before they were a reality. God has brought me on some incredible adventures.I truly believe they are just beginning!  My family and I have devoted ourselves to helping other people find this hope! 

 

This picture is evidence of that hope is real.  My daughter Kinzey wrote this (she is 9).  20 years later those desires are a reality.  To God be the glory!

Today is the first day of the last month of 2017. If you are like me there are so many things grappling for my time and attention. We have Christmas presents that haven’t been purchased and a multitude of things to plan. It’s one of the busiest season of the year as we plan our Christmas Eve services for church. Not to mention we are moving into our very first home in a few short weeks!

As I was getting ready to end my day yesterday, I was reminded of a very powerful scripture, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1st Peter 5:7 NIV

I felt like God was telling me to slow down and remember that I don’t have to handle all the pressures of life on my own. I really needed to hear God tell me that. I needed that permission. Permission to give him my stuff. Permission to give him my anxiety and my battles.

2017 was one of the hardest years of my life. I can’t really tell you one particular reason why. I think it was just hard because life can be hard sometimes. Last year my dad passed away on Christmas eve so I’ve been working through that this year. We were not extremely close but grief is still grief. And then there is the grief and guilt of wishing our relationship was better. There is the pain of what will never be.

Our church is almost 3 1/2 years old now. It has been incredible to lead such an amazing church but we’ve had to really fight this year. Fight to stay committed to the vision that God put in our heart, fight to not settle with yesterday’s victories, fight to believe God for freedom for people who don’t believe for themselves, fight to not get caught up in comparing our church to others and fight to appreciate the journey. I’m also fighting through my unrealistic expectations of myself. I don’t doubt my calling but I do sometimes doubt my ability to handle the stress of ministry. The stress of life in general. And that’s why I needed to be reminded I don’t have to carry that anxiety.

It’s funny how I often I need to be reminded of that. In our home we have this verse on our wall that says, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”(Exodus 14:4 NIV) How many times have I read that verse or glanced at it? The words in that picture frame have no power in my life unless I believe them and grab a hold of them. My anxieties are real but Im not called to carry them. My battles are intense yet God says I need only to be still. I believe there is a rest for my soul that God is calling me to.

As Im concluding the rest of the year, I’m determined to let go of my anxieties. I’m determined to really reflect on what Christmas is really about. God came for us to do for us things that we couldn’t do for ourselves. I’m praying for you today as well. Let’s finish our year reflecting in the joy that we don’t have to carry those burdens on our own.

It’s always an adventure serving the Lord. I’m very excited to have the opportunity to visit the Baltic on my very first international trip. I’m going to be posting pics and writing some thoughts down so I can remember this trip in real time!

Day 1 travel- flew out of Fargo to Chicago. Then Chicago to Frankfort Germany.

This toilet was crazy- It had a lining that rotated. 

Chicago from the air

Lake Michigan from the air

Day 2 Mostly traveling. The 8 hour flight was crazy. Here’s the plane I flew in

Frankfort Airport was awesome!

Free expresso and newspapers all over the airports.

Free expresso and newspapers all over the airports.

 

 

Made it to Vilnius Lithuania. I was met by David Milsap and Nick Puccini Great dudes!